7/23/09 Thoughts

The week has been a roller coaster. My son has mastered the fine art of back talk. This, according to the therapist, is his new way to get my attention -- it works. You gotta hand it to the kid he's smart. This morning he demanded an omlet. Well, mommy doesn't know how to make an omlet (I am am a little dangerous in the kitchen not to mention I hate cooking) so I offered scrambled or fried, cereal or toast. Still he demanded an omlet. Well, then the boy will go hungry till lunch. After a bit more of his perseverance and disrespect he calmly asked for cereal. Victory is mine!

After talking to a friend today, I "re" realized that I'm not alone in this. My son isn't the only child on the planet that refuses to tie his shoes, properly bathe himself, or has to be reminded every day to do his chores and what his chores are (which by the way are minimal and mostly basic hygene). Every parent of an ASD child needs these gentle reminders every so often. I tend to put the blame on myself and I would guess other parents do as well. And when I'm not putting the blame on me I tend to put it on my husband. In reality it's not our fault. We are doing the best we can and after many a trial and error have realized there is no magic bullet to fix this.

After a meeting today, I am slowly but surely learning the art of creative state funding for therapies. Some folks actually get funding for therapy and don't use it -- and the government allows for this in their budget. While folks who really want to utilize it for good sit on waiting lists for years -- hmm.

We had a boys party last night. I am insane, but the guest list included my son with asperger's, a boy with ADHD and a boy allergic to grass and a "normal" functioning boy. What was I thinking!!! It actually went really well though. I was so proud of my son -- he did so well and had so much fun. And, the fun is really all that matters. A couple of the boys did not get along so well, but luckily before it got to bloody one of the moms arrived.

I am realizing behavior therapists are a rare breed. They actually get excited about tantrums and trigger behaviors -- I find this interesting and to be honest disturbing. I prefer the happy, content, compliant child myself (the grass is always greener on the other side). I am very thankful for our therapist -- she's awesome and is slowly becoming a part of the family and a wonderful friend. They have a hard job but the payoff is huge. Imagine seeing a family come full circle from nearly torn apart to happily functioning or maybe (this is a very hopeful maybe) normal. Boy do I long for the days when I thought everything was OK.

The therapist keeps wanting us to utilize respite care. I am leery to do this for some reason. I see the value in some much needed alone time with my husband, but I have a hard time with letting a strange, yet well trained, man take my son to the park or whatever. I need to pray about this. And, it seems every time we do get a break something comes up that we don't get to spend any time together anyway. Like tonight, grandma took our son for an overnight, and my husband ended up sick and our big plans (which weren't really so big) were squashed a bit. I do however feel a huge weight lifted when our son is gone and it's nice to sleep peacefully and not have to worry about what I am going to do to entertain my son all day or if he's going to tantrum.